TELL A FRIEND ABOUT US!

"If you never did,
you should.
These things are fun, 
and fun is good."

       - - Dr. Seuss

Now Available!
"The 8 Myths of
Making a Living...
and the Truth of
Making a Life"
By Mary Lyn Miller

Getting Clear About Your Life & Work

Back to Article Index

THE HOLIDAYS:
RELAX, IT'S NOT GOING TO BE PERFECTFrom MARY LYN MILLER, 
Executive Director, The Life & Career Clinic:

The holidays are coming and the first thing you think is, "What a great time to kick back!"

Oh, sure! There's shopping to do, money to spend, turkey's to stuff, relatives (that you only see once a year) to visit, more shopping to do, more money to spend, packages to mail, parties, obligations, responsibilities, more shopping to do, more money to spend...and Aunt Ida's coming in from Milwaukee, don'tcha know! And it's not even Thanksgiving yet!

This is an especially difficult time for anyone with Perfectionist qualities. Do you qualify? Here are 5 Characteristics of Perfectionists you might want to consider as you enter this holiday period:

Perfectionists Find It Difficult to Relax
You often feel the need to get "just a few more tasks done" before you can feel good about yourself. When those are completed, there's suddenly "a few more" to do...and then 1 or 2 more...until you are functioning compulsively and eventually frantically.

Perfectionists Do What is Expected and Often Beyond
The problem is, that by focusing on meeting others' expectations, you lose touch with what you want or need to do for yourself and you often find yourself tired and empty.

Perfectionists Often RESENT Having to Do Tasks, but REFUSE to Give Them Up
Procrastination sets in; so does self-judgement. You can't concentrate on the task at hand, but are too scared to give it up to take the time and space you need, resulting in frustration, anger and exhaustion.

Perfectionists Are Obsessed with Needing to Understand Everything They Feel
You try to grasp the implications of every emotion and try not to experience emotions that you don't understand. There is an underlying fear that if you give up control, you may become a raving lunatic. It's incredibly draining keeping emotions under control!

Perfectionists Cannot Sit and Just BE!

You might discover you have more perfectionist characteristics than you thought.

If You Suffer from Any of These - What Do You Do? This may reduced your stress level during this season:

1. Decide what's most important to you about the holiday and dramatically minimize the rest. (The family dinner, presents for children, your church celebration, your trip back home, etc.) You need to focus on one small thing at a time - multitasking is not healthy for the perfectionist.

2. Refuse requests and events that divert you. You are not being selfish even if it FEELS that way. That's a normal response...incorrect, But normal. Say no anyway.

3. Ask for help. Perfectionists think they're the only person who can shop, organize or wrap packages.

4. Allow yourself to make lots of mistakes - and be responsible for them. You get to change your mind, say, "I don't know," "I don't understand," and "I don't agree."

5. Be yourself! Relax and have a good time without trying to impress anyone.

Try these approaches and write us about your results!

NEED ANSWERS? ASK MARY LYN

[ Up ] [ Career Articles and Advice -  Archives ] [ Do You Believe? ] [ Diversifying Your Life / Work Portfolio ] [ Expectations for the Future ] [ What's Your Fear Quotient ] [ Free Agent Lifestyle ] [ The Gratitude Game ] [ Recovering From People Pleasing ] [ The Power of Vision - 4 Principles ] [ The Holidays - Relax! ] [ 3 Keys to Receiving ] [ The Greatest Risk You Can Take ] [ 3 Keys for Successful Life / Work ] [ Unlimited Vision ] [ Where Are You Going? ] [ Passionate or Work Addicted? ]