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The Fear Quotient
By Mary Lyn Miller
Executive Director, The Life & Career Clinic

I am afraid of so many things - that you won't like me, that I won't live up to my full potential, that whatever is good today won't remain tomorrow, that what is uncomfortable now will never go away, that I won't be enough or be able to get enough, that I will be hurt, that I will feel pain.

Of course, I want to be free of it.  I teach classes to address it, run support groups to discuss it and pray nightly to be separated from this thing called my fear.  But the real truth is that it is always lurking, always waiting, dogging my every footstep.

I have come to learn that I cannot avoid it.  There is no "getting rid of it."  I can no more let go of my fear than I can amputate my hand.  Because for every vision, every hope, every desire that has found its way into my heart, so comes the fear that I can't have it, won't get it, can't sustain it.

I simply cannot hold a vision of a brilliant future, new career or rewarding relationship without also holding the fear that it will never come to pass curled right next to it.  The dream and the dragon are cell-mates and always have been.

I used to find myself lacking because I could not get a better grip on it all.  Today my peace comes in understanding that my fear is not a separate entity from my dream; it is inextricably embedded in my vision and I must embrace both in order to move forward toward my goals.

But how do you and I do this?

1. Acknowledge the fears.  Don't try to deny them or push them away.  Just accept them.  You don't need to be fear-free to function well; you just need to have slightly more faith than fear.  A partial Faith / Fear Quotient Inventory can be downloaded below.  Ideal scores should be between 30 and 40 to function effectively while still feeling fear.  Understand you will not avoid fear entirely, but you can still experience high achievement despite it…or because of it.

2. Compartmentalize your fears.  They are not part of you.  Not ALL of you.  I have an upcoming tele-workshop to demonstrate the tools to accomplish this.

3. Learn whatever you need to learn from them.  Fear is an emotional message.  Listen and respect all inner messages.  Fear does not mean "stop," however.  It just means your body has been alerted.  It could possibly be a signal that danger is imminent, or it might have been triggered by old beliefs or behaviors.  Take a breath, assess your real situation and you will then proceed more efficiently.

What's your Faith / Fear Quotient?  (Can you feel the fear and still do it anyway?)  Download the Faith / Fear Quotient Inventory and find out!  Then check out our upcoming Seminar by Phone, "From Fear to Faith" with Mary Lyn Miller, Saturday, April 28.

NEED ANSWERS? ASK MARY LYN

[ Up ] [ Career Articles and Advice -  Archives ] [ Do You Believe? ] [ Diversifying Your Life / Work Portfolio ] [ Expectations for the Future ] [ What's Your Fear Quotient ] [ Free Agent Lifestyle ] [ The Gratitude Game ] [ Recovering From People Pleasing ] [ The Power of Vision - 4 Principles ] [ The Holidays - Relax! ] [ 3 Keys to Receiving ] [ The Greatest Risk You Can Take ] [ 3 Keys for Successful Life / Work ] [ Unlimited Vision ] [ Where Are You Going? ] [ Passionate or Work Addicted? ]