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A
Mesage from Mary Lyn
"You
don't have to have a 'job' to have a life!"
Award
winning syndicated Chicago Tribune columnist, Carol Kleinman, devoted
her entire April 1st column to this subject (see below).
Not
only is it a great article, she featured me! I couldn't be happier.
As a Chicago born and raised gal, a column in the Tribune is especially
meaningful to me. I'm loving receiving e-mails book orders and
requests from people whose addresses I recognize! So keep those
cards and letters coming. Here's the article...
Warmly,
Mary
Lyn
"YOU
DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A 'JOB' TO HAVE A LIFE"
Carol Kleiman, Syndicated Columnist,
The Chicago Tribune Published April 1, 2003
Here's
a novel way to achieve balance between your job and your personal
life: Eliminate the 'job,' with its connotations of drudgery.
'It's
a myth that a `job' is the only way to make a living,' said Mary
Lyn Miller, director of the Life and Career Clinic, a career consulting
firm in Manhattan Beach, Calif.
Miller,
author of 'The Eight Myths of Making a Living: Getting clear about
your life and your work' (The Writers Collective, $14.95), says
the secret is to 'create a work strategy that parlays your passions
into income.'
What
she means is this: You have to redefine your meaning of the word
'job' if you want to have a fuller and more rewarding life.
And
that's what Miller has done.
In
1986, when Miller was a vice president of a large company, she
was diagnosed with cancer.
'Having
cancer made me realize I had a great resume, a great job--but no
life,' said the director, who has been cancer free since 1987.
'And
that's why, in 1988, I started my own business and now I do the
things I really care about,' she said. 'I love being with people,
talking to them, helping them. I still work long hours, but I love
every minute of them. Yet, there I had been, holed up in an office
all day making decisions about things I didn't care about.'
She
doesn't call her work `work.'
'I
haven't had a `job' for years,' said Miller, who is widowed and
has a grown daughter. 'A `job' can be taken away in a heartbeat.
That's why you have to let go of your dependency on what used to
be known as a `job.' It's good to have a Plan B.'
Miller
understands not all workers who feel stressed out can do what she
did, but she emphasizes the importance of taking steps in that
direction.
'You
have to do more than fill only your financial needs and you have
to do so incrementally, over time,' she said. 'You can do things
such as rewarding volunteer work or consulting. You can become
an independent contractor or switch to working part-time and use
the rest of your time for what you feel passionate about.
'Think
about what you care about,' she said, 'because that's what you'll
do well at. Be less dependent on an employer to determine your
work/life balance. Take responsibility for it.'
In
that way, Miller believes, you'll be able to achieve work/life
balance and avoid burnout, as she does.
Susan
Nolen-Hoeksema, psychologist and author of 'Women Who Think too
Much: How to break free of over-thinking and reclaim your life'
(Henry Holt, $24), puts it this way:
'If
we have work-related goals, they may simply be to make more money
and achieve more status,' she said. 'But these things rarely satisfy
our deepest needs.'
And
Sarah B. Warren, president of her own consulting firm in Chicago
and Evanston, agrees: 'Work/life balance means having sources of
satisfaction and pleasure outside of work, so that work is not
the only source of meaning in your life,' she said.
Warren,
who has a doctorate in clinical psychology, specializes in business
consulting, career coaching and psychotherapy. She warns that if
you feel burned out, 'you have to find out why. Examine yourself,
look inward first and then outward at the world of work--at what
possibilities there are for you.'
Warren
followed her own advice recently, and, in her case, the life-changing
event was a joyous one:
In
December, Warren and her husband, Paul Rathburn, an attorney, had
their first child, Henry.
Warren,
who had worked at least 50 hours a week, now works from 25 to 30
hours. Her husband made a change, too: He switched jobs to one
requiring fewer evening and weekend hours.
'Before
my son was born, work had always been my primary identity,' said
Warren. 'But it can't be anymore. I really want to know my child.'
Warren,
who also enjoys running, yoga and cultural activities, says she
is 'in the process of retooling the balance in my life--with the
baby as the biggest factor.'
----------
Carol
Kleiman's columns also appear in Sunday's Business and Wednesday's
Working sections. Hear her on WBBM Newsradio 780 at 6:21 p.m. and
10:22 p.m. Monday and Wednesday and 11:20 a.m. Saturday and Sunday.
E-mail ckleiman@tribune.com.
(Copyright
2003, Chicago Tribune)
Need
Answers? Ask Mary Lyn!
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