IS PERFECTIONISM BLOCKING YOUR PASSION?
By Mary Lyn Miller

I'm late in sending the PEP TALK Newsletter to you, and there's a reason why. I am a barely recovering perfectionist.

Yep, that's it. Right now I am trying to learn more about having an HTML template set up so all my communications to you have pictures and graphics and looks fabulous, but I don't know anything about that, yet I wanted it to be just right and beautiful before I sent you anything. I want you to just LOVE this issue of PEP TALK. But, I don't know exactly what to ask people who help me, they are incredibly busy anyway, I'm not too certain what to do, so the result is that I just haven't done anything.

But, I'm taking this time - in a text format - nothing pretty or dynamic or trail blazing - to confess to you the error of my ways because I realized that communicating with you - in any way at al right now - imperfectly - is actually the most important thing.

Then it occurred to me that this may be happening to you.

What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for the sun, moon and stars to be in perfect alignment before you take a step to do something that you would love to do? Are you "waiting" to be in better off financially before you take a risk, hoping by the time the kids are more grown or you're retired, you will have figured out what to do with your life? Or maybe you'd like to dance or sing or draw a picture but you don't know how YET, so you don't do anything about it. After all, you might be bad at it - you will be - all beginners are. Perfectionists don't allow for "Learning Curves." We think it should be perfect the first time we try - we get upset because others who have more experience and have worked harder - look better. (See below for the Perfectionist Quiz).

Think of anything at all that you MIGHT enjoy, that might give you more passion. Got it?? Hold it in your mind's eye. Then, ask yourself why you're not doing something about it.....NOW!.

In the self-discovery process of uncovering Deborah's Core Essence, she talked to me about her love of water - "swimming, windsurfing, boating - all of it," she said. I asked if she was doing any of those activities in her life, and this banker-Mom had to admit she hadn't done it in years. Only 3 weeks later she came back, filled with enthusiasm and passion. She had done many things I had suggested, but she was extremely animated when it came to her newly attended water aerobics class. "I have this gym membership with a pool and thought what the heck, I'll give it a try. I did the class and then did laps after. It was exhilarating. I wasn't perfect, but I came out literally bursting with joy."

Perfectionism is an addiction to lack. Think about it: the perfectionist is always focused on where there could be more. The more balanced person can appreciate the progress that has been made, no matter how miniscule. The perfectionist, on the other hand, is always focused on how much more could have been done, how much more there is to do ie: the empty space. Since the basic law of the Universe is what you focus on expands, when you are focused on lack, it will keep replicating in your life.

My words of wisdom: "Anything worth doing is worth doing badly."